🌀Mood:  Grateful, Reflective, Hopeful, Vulnerable, Faith-filled

It’s been almost six months since I last sat in this chair.

And yet, here I am again.

The last time I was here, I was still fighting to get my multiple myeloma under control. Every treatment was another step toward my stem cell transplant, another step toward the hope of remission.

But today is different.

I’m in remission. There is no detectable myeloma.

Those are words I prayed for, hoped for, and believed I would one day hear. And now, here I am, sitting in the same infusion chair, knowing just how far God has brought me.

So Why Am I Back?

Because even though my test results are clear, the journey isn’t over.

Today marks the beginning of maintenance therapy. Unlike the treatments I received before my transplant, which were focused on getting the cancer under control, maintenance is about keeping it that way.

My myeloma is considered high-risk, so my doctors are taking an aggressive approach to help keep the disease from returning.

And that means more treatment.

I’ll be receiving three medications: Darzalex Faspro, Velcade, and Pomalyst. The goal is to maintain the incredible response I’ve achieved and give me the best possible chance at a long remission.

Three Hours of Monitoring

Because it’s been so long since my last treatment, the nurses want to keep me here for three hours to watch for any reactions.

Three hours.

That’s a lot of time to sit and think.

I’m curious how my body will respond this time. Will the medications affect me differently now that there’s no detectable myeloma? Will I experience the same side effects? Will my body tolerate everything better now that I’ve been through a transplant?

I don’t know.

And if I’ve learned anything over this past year, it’s that there are plenty of things about this journey I simply cannot predict.

But sitting here today, I can’t help reflecting on how different things are from a year ago.

When I was first diagnosed, my bone marrow was approximately 80% filled with cancer cells. My kidneys were struggling. My bones were damaged. I was facing a diagnosis that turned my entire world upside down.

Today, I’m sitting here in remission.

That’s not something I take lightly.

Remission Doesn’t Mean the Journey Is Over

I think that’s something I’m still learning to embrace.

When I first imagined reaching remission, I pictured crossing a finish line. I thought about getting back to normal, putting treatment behind me, and moving forward with my life.

But multiple myeloma doesn’t quite work that way.

There is no simple finish line. Even with an incredible response to treatment, ongoing maintenance and monitoring are part of my reality.

And while I am beyond grateful for where I am today, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little tired of all of this.

Sometimes I just want to be done.

But then I remind myself of what I’ve already come through.

The diagnosis. The chemotherapy. The fractures. The transplant. The recovery. The waiting for results.

And now, the gift of remission.

God has carried me through every single step.

So today, I’m choosing gratitude.

Gratitude for the treatments that have brought me this far. Gratitude for the doctors and nurses who continue to care for me. Gratitude for a body that has endured more than I ever imagined it could.

And most of all, gratitude to God for answering a prayer that once seemed so far away.

I don’t know exactly what this next phase will look like. I don’t know how I’ll feel after today’s treatment or what challenges maintenance might bring.

But I do know this:

I’m not sitting in this chair as the same person I was six months ago.

I’m stronger in some ways. More vulnerable in others. And certainly more aware of just how precious life is.

I may not be finished with treatment, but I’m grateful to be here, moving forward, one day at a time.