44 – Day 30 – A Milestone, Even If It Looks Different

🌀Mood: Reflective. Disappointed. Patient. Grounded. Faith-filled. Today is Day 30 of my stem cell transplant. This is typically the day patients are discharged and sent home—so it’s a big milestone in this process. For me, it looks a little different. Last week, I had a setback related to my GI tract—side effects from the melphalan chemotherapy. It slowed things down and pushed my discharge date … Continue reading 44 – Day 30 – A Milestone, Even If It Looks Different

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43 – What Recovery Really Looks Like

🌀Mood: Fragile. Adjusting. Honest. Rebuilding. I’m out of the hospital. And while that feels like a big step…this part of the journey is still far from easy. There’s this idea that once you come out of the valley, things start to feel normal again. That’s not really how it works. It’s more like… your body is slowly trying to find its way back. When I … Continue reading 43 – What Recovery Really Looks Like

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41 – What the Valley Really Is

🌀Mood: Raw. Restless. Drained. Surviving. They call this part of the process “the valley.” I knew it was coming.They prepared me for it.Days 4 through 14… the hardest stretch. But knowing about it and living it are two very different things. The valley isn’t just about feeling sick.It’s about being completely emptied out. By the time I was admitted to the hospital, my body was … Continue reading 41 – What the Valley Really Is

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40 – Day 5 to Day 11: The Valley

🌀Mood: Drained. Foggy. Fragile. Enduring. I haven’t written in a while.Around Day 5, things shifted.I ended up being admitted into the hospital because I couldn’t keep my medications down. Every time I tried to swallow pills, my stomach would cramp and I would vomit. It got to the point where it just wasn’t sustainable anymore—physically or mentally.So now everything goes through my Hickman line. It’s … Continue reading 40 – Day 5 to Day 11: The Valley

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38 – Melphalan Day — The Clearing Begins

🌀Mood: Courage, Uncertainty, Preparation, Resolve Yesterday I met a different version of myself in the mirror. Today I began the treatment that will rebuild my body from the inside out. Today was melphalan day. Melphalan is the chemotherapy given before a stem cell transplant. Its job is simple, but powerful: wipe out the blood-forming stem cells living inside my bone marrow so new, healthy ones … Continue reading 38 – Melphalan Day — The Clearing Begins

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37 – The Day I Met a Different Version of Myself

🌀Mood: Reflection, Grief, Identity, Vulnerability, Courage Today I did something I knew was coming but still wasn’t fully ready for. I cut my hair. Not a trim. Not a new style. The kind of cut you get when chemotherapy is about to start and you know your hair won’t survive what’s coming next. Originally, the plan was to shave it completely before treatment began. But … Continue reading 37 – The Day I Met a Different Version of Myself

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36 – The Space Between Collection and Rebuild

🌀Mood: Reflective, Grounded, Bittersweet, Exposed, Grateful, Hopeful (I’m writing this on my birthday, February 28th. By the time you’re reading it, the date will have passed — but I wanted to capture how today feels while I’m in it.) We came home to Olympia the day before my birthday. I woke up in my own bed this morning — something that already felt like a … Continue reading 36 – The Space Between Collection and Rebuild

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