🌀Mood: Hopeful, Reflective, Grounded, Grateful, Cautiously Optimistic It’s Day 70 after my stem cell transplant, and on Wednesday I will have another bone marrow biopsy. Typically, these milestone tests happen closer to Day 90 after transplant. But my oncologist wanted mine done earlier, around Day 55, to get a sooner look at how my body — and the myeloma — are responding to treatment. I … Continue reading 50 – Two Things Can Be True
🌀Mood: grateful, reflective, healing, hopeful Tomorrow, I go back to work. Half days. Slowly. That sentence feels much bigger than it probably sounds. For weeks, so many people have been counting down to this moment for me. “Getting back to normal.” “Getting back to life.” And in many ways, I understand why. Returning to work after a stem cell transplant feels like progress. It is … Continue reading 49 – Half Days & Healing
🌀Mood: uncertain, patient, honest, grounded, reflective One thing I’m learning about recovery is that it doesn’t always come with clear answers. Sometimes, it comes with more questions. I had an appointment with the neurosurgeon this past week to look into the pain I’ve been feeling in my back… along with a fractured rib on the right side. That alone was surprising. You would think that … Continue reading 47 – Waiting for Answers
🌀Mood: steady, reflective, honest, patient, grounded There’s a space in recovery that no one really talks about. It’s the space between better… and back. And that’s exactly where I find myself right now. On the outside, things are improving. I’m home. I’m moving more. I’m walking anywhere from 6,000 to 10,000 steps a day which is supposed to be good for my recovery,. The swelling … Continue reading 46 – The Space Between Better and Back
🌀Mood: Grateful, honest, vulnerable, steady, hopeful Throughout the transplant process, the words you want to hear more than anything are:“You can go home.” I thought about that moment a lot.I pictured what it would feel like, how excited I would be when I finally heard those words. And when I did… I was. But the last week leading up to going home was rough.I had … Continue reading 45 – You Can Go Home
🌀Mood: Reflective. Disappointed. Patient. Grounded. Faith-filled. Today is Day 30 of my stem cell transplant. This is typically the day patients are discharged and sent home—so it’s a big milestone in this process. For me, it looks a little different. Last week, I had a setback related to my GI tract—side effects from the melphalan chemotherapy. It slowed things down and pushed my discharge date … Continue reading 44 – Day 30 – A Milestone, Even If It Looks Different
🌀Mood: Fragile. Adjusting. Honest. Rebuilding. I’m out of the hospital. And while that feels like a big step…this part of the journey is still far from easy. There’s this idea that once you come out of the valley, things start to feel normal again. That’s not really how it works. It’s more like… your body is slowly trying to find its way back. When I … Continue reading 43 – What Recovery Really Looks Like
🌀Mood: Relieved. Worn down. Grateful. Rebuilding. I got out of the hospital a few days ago, on Day 15. Ten days inside… and it felt like an eternity. At one point, I told someone I felt like a caged animal.No real sleep. Constant interruptions. Just trying to get through each hour. So being back at the apartment feels like a breath of fresh air. But … Continue reading 42 – Out of the Valley
🌀Mood: Drained. Foggy. Fragile. Enduring. I haven’t written in a while.Around Day 5, things shifted.I ended up being admitted into the hospital because I couldn’t keep my medications down. Every time I tried to swallow pills, my stomach would cramp and I would vomit. It got to the point where it just wasn’t sustainable anymore—physically or mentally.So now everything goes through my Hickman line. It’s … Continue reading 40 – Day 5 to Day 11: The Valley
After melphalan cleared the garden, the rebuilding could begin. Two days ago, melphalan cleared the garden.Today, my own stem cells came home. It’s taken me a few days to write this. After two days of stem cell infusions, I needed the rest. Now that I have a little more energy, I want to share what Day 0 was like. Day 0 at Fred Hutch started … Continue reading 39 — Day 0: The Beginning of the Rebuild
My Anchor Holds 