🌀Mood: Grateful, honest, vulnerable, steady, hopeful

Throughout the transplant process, the words you want to hear more than anything are:
“You can go home.”

I thought about that moment a lot.
I pictured what it would feel like, how excited I would be when I finally heard those words.

And when I did… I was.

But the last week leading up to going home was rough.
I had a setback with my GI tract that delayed my release, and I also fractured another rib — which has been incredibly painful.

So by the time I got home, I was very ready.

What I didn’t fully realize is this:

Going home doesn’t mean this is over.
It doesn’t mean I’m healed.
And it doesn’t mean I’m in remission.

It simply means I’m entering a new phase of recovery.

And this phase feels very different than I expected.

During the 2½ months of the transplant process, my days were full.
I had constant interaction — my cousin (my caregiver), nurses, doctors, the entire team at Fred Hutch. There was always someone checking in, talking, helping.

There was a rhythm to each day.

Now I’m home… and for most of the day, I’m by myself.

And if I’m being honest, it’s been more isolating and lonely than I expected.

I can have visitors, which I’m so grateful for —
the only requirements are wearing a mask and making sure you’re not sick (and that your kids aren’t either).

This is also a long road.
Recovery from a stem cell transplant takes about a year, and right now my immune system is essentially starting from scratch and rebuilding day by day.

The first 90 days are the most critical, with the most restrictions — and I’m about halfway there, which feels like a meaningful milestone.

At that 90-day mark, I’ll go through more testing — including a bone marrow biopsy and PET scan — to see if I’m in remission.

With multiple myeloma, remission doesn’t mean cured. There isn’t a cure.
It means the disease is not active or detectable at that time.

So when I think about remission, I think of it as temporary — something I hope lasts a long time.
I pray for years… 5 or more. But the truth is, we don’t know.

So while I’m home, I’m still very much in it.

And I’ve realized something important:

Now more than ever is when I need connection.

Whether that’s:

• a quick text
• a phone call
• a FaceTime
• or a visit (when you’re healthy)

It truly means a lot to me right now — more than you probably realize.

I know everyone has busy schedules, and I completely understand that.
But if you think of me, I would love to hear from you.

Your support has meant everything to me throughout this journey… and it still does.

Taking this one day at a time 💛