🌀Mood: Reflective, Grounded, Bittersweet, Exposed, Grateful, Hopeful (I’m writing this on my birthday, February 28th. By the time you’re reading it, the date will have passed — but I wanted to capture how today feels while I’m in it.) We came home to Olympia the day before my birthday. I woke up in my own bed this morning — something that already felt like a … Continue reading 36 – The Space Between Collection and Rebuild
🌀Mood: Disappointed. Exhausted. Resilient. Relieved. Still moving. The afternoon, after my first stem cell collection, I got the call. The one we had all been waiting for. The goal was to collect 8–10 million stem cells in one day. My team felt confident. I felt confident. We were rallying around the idea of “one and done.” So when the phone rang, I answered with hope. … Continue reading 35 – Not One and Done
🌀Mood: Supported, Loved, Humbled, Comforted, Transitioning, Carried My cousin arrived on Tuesday February 17th. And with her arrival, the apartment changed. Up until then, this season had felt very focused and contained — appointments, work, quiet evenings, and a lot of internal processing. Work had been a helpful distraction, something to pour my energy into while waiting for transplant to begin. But when she walked … Continue reading 33 – The Caregiver Arrives
🌀Mood: Thorough. Evaluated. Protected. Prepared. Strengthened. Intentional. If you think a stem cell transplant is just about cancer, you would be wrong. Before they give you high-dose chemotherapy, they test everything. Heart.Lungs.Kidneys.Liver.Infectious disease panels.Chest X-rays.EKGs.Pulmonary function tests.Dental clearance.Vein checks.And yes — even a full gynecology exam. No stone goes unturned. And honestly? That’s comforting. The Body Audit This week wasn’t just about my PET scan … Continue reading 32 – No Stone Goes Unturned
🌀Mood: Miraculous. Positioned. Grateful. Strategic. Steady This week, I received words I will never forget. “No active myelomatous disease.” On my PET scan — the imaging that detects metabolically active cancer cells — nothing lit up. No new lesions.No active bone marrow infiltration.No tumors outside the bone. In medical language, this is called a Complete Metabolic Response (CMR). In regular human language? It means the … Continue reading 31 – A Miracle, and the Green Light
🌀Mood: disoriented, self-advocating, realigning, hopeful I was still sitting in the infusion chair. Still trying to absorb what my oncologist had just told me — that I hadn’t actually graduated, that I was only halfway to zero, that everything I thought was happening next was now on pause. And then the phone rang. It was the transplant scheduling department at Fred Hutch.They were calling to … Continue reading 27 – Half Way There, Not Quite Yet
🌀Mood: Sober. Grounded. Clear-eyed. Emotionally heavy. When my husband and I walked into the transplant consultation at Fred Hutch, we still thought this might be a choice. We’d been told that freezing my stem cells and delaying the transplant was a possible path — maybe I’d stay on the treatment I was already responding so well to, and revisit the transplant later. It wasn’t ideal, … Continue reading 26 – If I Want to Live…
🌀 Mood: Grateful, quiet, grounded There’s a lot swirling right now. My numbers are improving.I’m moving from weekly chemo to every-other-week.I’m meeting with the transplant team at Fred Hutch.And I know there are hard days ahead. But before I step into whatever’s next, I want to pause.To name what I’m thankful for. Thankful for Healing, Even When It’s Slow I started this journey with advanced, … Continue reading 25 – Thankful: A Pause Before the Next Chapter
🌀 Mood: Bittersweet, reflective, steady, vulnerable My oncologist looked at me with a big smile and said, “You’re graduating.” Graduating? It took a moment to sink in. After next week, I’ll no longer be coming in for weekly treatments. My M-protein level is now at 0.08—a number I’ve been working toward for months. With that, I move to every other week instead of every week. … Continue reading 24 – Chemo #14 – Graduation Day
🌀Mood: Absorbing, Accepting, Trusting “There are some high-risk features in your case.” That’s what the doctor said first. She didn’t launch into the details. Just those words.And in that pause — before I even knew what they meant — I could feel the floor shifting underneath me. She went on to explain that based on my bone-marrow biopsy and chromosome analysis, my myeloma was not … Continue reading 23 – The Consultation That Changed Everything (Part 2)
