🌀Mood: Supported, Loved, Humbled, Comforted, Transitioning, Carried My cousin arrived on Tuesday February 17th. And with her arrival, the apartment changed. Up until then, this season had felt very focused and contained — appointments, work, quiet evenings, and a lot of internal processing. Work had been a helpful distraction, something to pour my energy into while waiting for transplant to begin. But when she walked … Continue reading 33 – The Caregiver Arrives
🌀Mood: Thorough. Evaluated. Protected. Prepared. Strengthened. Intentional. If you think a stem cell transplant is just about cancer, you would be wrong. Before they give you high-dose chemotherapy, they test everything. Heart.Lungs.Kidneys.Liver.Infectious disease panels.Chest X-rays.EKGs.Pulmonary function tests.Dental clearance.Vein checks.And yes — even a full gynecology exam. No stone goes unturned. And honestly? That’s comforting. The Body Audit This week wasn’t just about my PET scan … Continue reading 32 – No Stone Goes Unturned
🌀Mood: Focused, Brave, Grounded, Curious After everything it took to get here, I wanted just one more night in my own bed. So instead of heading to Seattle Wednesday night, I woke up at 4:00 a.m. Thursday morning, packed the last of my things, and made the early drive north to Pete Gross before traffic. When I pulled into my assigned parking spot, I discovered … Continue reading 30 – Testing Begins
🌀Mood: Chaotic, Disoriented, Determined, Tender, Held I haven’t posted in a little while — not because I didn’t want to, but because these last two weeks have tested me in ways I wasn’t prepared for. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. There were moments when I honestly didn’t know if I was going to make it to Seattle in time for my stem cell transplant. The ER… Again … Continue reading 29 – The Storm Before Seattle
🌀Mood: overloaded, preparing, frustrated, holding on I have a date. February 5th. It’s the official start of my stem cell transplant journey. And now that it’s real, everything else is flooding in. I thought setting the date would feel like crossing a finish line — or at least reaching a clear checkpoint. Instead, it feels like someone opened the floodgates. The Insurance Loop That Won’t … Continue reading 28 – I Have a Date
🌀 Mood: Worn down but hopeful Some weeks bring setbacks, others bring blessings. Week 6 gave me both. After the roughest week yet, I went into my oncologist appointment both anxious and desperate for answers. What I left with was more than I ever imagined. I gave him the full rundown of my Week 5 reactions: the chills, the skin sensitivity, the pain in my … Continue reading 17 – The Turning Point
🌀 Mood: Shaken but watchful It only took one routine shot to remind me: cancer doesn’t always follow the rules. By Chemo Week 5, I thought I knew what to expect. I’d had this shot ten times before without a problem. Routine. Predictable. I didn’t think twice about it. But this time was different. First came the chills, sudden and deep — no amount of … Continue reading 16 – The Unexpected Side Effects
🌀 Mood: Exposed & Growing I’ve always been a helper. It’s not just something I do — it’s how I’m wired.If you know your Enneagram type, I’m a 2. The Giver. The Nurturer. The one who shows up, checks in, and makes sure everyone else is okay. That instinct didn’t just come from nowhere. I grew up in a house where caregiving was part of … Continue reading 7-When the Helper Needs Help
🌀 Mood: Frustrated, overlooked The first time I sought medical help for my back pain, I went to urgent care. The muscle spasms had become unbearable, and I knew something wasn’t right. They took X-rays and told me my spine looked good — no breaks, no damage. Just muscular. The provider was kind and said she could tell I was in real pain, even if … Continue reading 3 – Seeking Answers
My Anchor Holds 