🌀Mood: Chaotic, Disoriented, Determined, Tender, Held I haven’t posted in a little while — not because I didn’t want to, but because these last two weeks have tested me in ways I wasn’t prepared for. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. There were moments when I honestly didn’t know if I was going to make it to Seattle in time for my stem cell transplant. The ER… Again … Continue reading 29 – The Storm Before Seattle
🌀Mood: overloaded, preparing, frustrated, holding on I have a date. February 5th. It’s the official start of my stem cell transplant journey. And now that it’s real, everything else is flooding in. I thought setting the date would feel like crossing a finish line — or at least reaching a clear checkpoint. Instead, it feels like someone opened the floodgates. The Insurance Loop That Won’t … Continue reading 28 – I Have a Date
🌀Mood: disoriented, self-advocating, realigning, hopeful I was still sitting in the infusion chair. Still trying to absorb what my oncologist had just told me — that I hadn’t actually graduated, that I was only halfway to zero, that everything I thought was happening next was now on pause. And then the phone rang. It was the transplant scheduling department at Fred Hutch.They were calling to … Continue reading 27 – Half Way There, Not Quite Yet
🌀 Mood: Grateful, quiet, grounded There’s a lot swirling right now. My numbers are improving.I’m moving from weekly chemo to every-other-week.I’m meeting with the transplant team at Fred Hutch.And I know there are hard days ahead. But before I step into whatever’s next, I want to pause.To name what I’m thankful for. Thankful for Healing, Even When It’s Slow I started this journey with advanced, … Continue reading 25 – Thankful: A Pause Before the Next Chapter
🌀 Mood: Bittersweet, reflective, steady, vulnerable My oncologist looked at me with a big smile and said, “You’re graduating.” Graduating? It took a moment to sink in. After next week, I’ll no longer be coming in for weekly treatments. My M-protein level is now at 0.08—a number I’ve been working toward for months. With that, I move to every other week instead of every week. … Continue reading 24 – Chemo #14 – Graduation Day
🌀Mood: Absorbing, Accepting, Trusting “There are some high-risk features in your case.” That’s what the doctor said first. She didn’t launch into the details. Just those words.And in that pause — before I even knew what they meant — I could feel the floor shifting underneath me. She went on to explain that based on my bone-marrow biopsy and chromosome analysis, my myeloma was not … Continue reading 23 – The Consultation That Changed Everything (Part 2)
🌀 Mood: Anticipation, Vulnerability, Gravity, Turning Point I was incredibly anxious for a few days before the consultation at Fred Hutch. I didn’t exactly know what to expect, but I knew it was going to be serious. And somehow, that made my condition feel more real — like it had moved from the world of bloodwork and scans into something undeniable. For those of you … Continue reading 22 – The Consultation That Changed Everything (Part 1)
🌀 Mood: Anxiety, Relief, Uncertainty, Frustration Walking into the neurosurgeon’s office again felt… weird.Familiar, but not in a comforting way. I thought I was done with this part.We had already done the kyphoplasty on my T8 — the vertebra that had collapsed. It was supposed to be fixed. Handled. Resolved. But here I was again, nervous and uneasy. The MRI had shown a burst fracture … Continue reading 21 – Back to the Neurosurgeon
🌀 Mood: Uncertainty, Waiting, Reflection After such a hopeful week, I thought I’d finally caught a break.But pain has a way of showing up uninvited. About three weeks after my kyphoplasty procedure — the one that was supposed to help stabilize my T8 vertebra — my back started aching again. At first, I thought maybe I had overdone it. Too much sitting and walking during … Continue reading 20 – The MRI
🌀 Mood: Discouraged but clear-eyed. This cancer journey is a roller coaster. Every day brings something new. One week, you get good news; the next, something changes that sends you into a tailspin. After chemo #7, I found myself feeling low — probably for the first time since my diagnosis. I’ve worked hard to stay positive no matter what this disease throws at me, but … Continue reading 18 – Chemo #7 – The Unexpected Conversation
My Anchor Holds 